What if I hate it?

So, the next step was to sign, scan, and email the purchase agreement to the lawyer in charge of all the Serenity Garden Eco-Village lots.

That required ink in my printer, so it took several days to get that project done.

The cost of the lawyer's fees was $250, but thankfully he suggested that I just tack the fees to the end of the balance of the lot. Sweet!

Next, Ali and I went to the library and checked out books on smaller living, and house plans. We've been talking about what we want in a house.

This morning I woke up slow and relaxed next to Ali, and started imagining us waking up together in Costa Rica. What it would be like on our land, what we'd do for fun and work, and then ... I thought, "What if we hate it?" What if we spend all our money and end up not liking the place? What if my kids think that I've abandoned them? True, they'll be graduated from high school (at least one of them), and old enough to come with me if they wanted to, but still. A mama worries.

I guess the only safeguard against that is to continue airing those concerns, and not let them get to fantastical proportions. For instance, Ali's concerns are making money while we're there, being stimulated intellectually and socially while there, and missing the Oregon weather. The weather doesn't change much at the equator. And we do so like the Fall -- the crispness cider hot chocolate scarf wearing dog walking with your breath in little puffs weather.

We'll talk about what concerns us, feel heard when we do, and put a yurt on the property for the first five years. We vacation there (as well as other places, too), and get a sense of what life will really be like there. It's one thing to stay for a week and go to the beach and eat at restaurants, but it would be a different trip altogether to stay for a month and feel what a regular routine would look like there. If all goes well, we'll live in the yurt while we build our eco-house, and be proud to live in an eco-village.